Sometimes, when I look back over the years and into the targeting's effect on some of the older parts of my work, I feel like its all wasted, all ruined and not worth a thing. (Much of it does not apply to the targeting situation.) And targets like me, naturally launch into misplacing blame - when we are not aware of being targeted we blame only those who are obviously acting out because we are not aware of the manipulations and technological mind control.
My old writings have a lot of this in them. (This theme ran strong in my "Personal Journal" and "Into the Light" publications.) I feel deeply sad about this, although it makes them a good example of what a heavy target goes through or is manipulated into.
I had worked so hard and had a grand dream and mission and it now feels destroyed - like it was all just a sad waste. But this makes me yearn for my freedom even more, because time is still wasting and there's already too much to heal and too much to fix and too much to explain and too much to make up for. . .and I can not effectively do any of it while being targeted.
When I was not aware of the targeting, and its sabotaging of my life and work I searched for the "Higher Purpose" to what I was experiencing. I didn't find it, because there was none. There is no "Higher Purpose" to intentional man-made inflictions/crimes.
But good can come from bad things. And a good thing may be that, since I have become aware, I've been able to help expose the types of targeting that I've been experiencing.